Advice, College Life, Life, Post-Grad Life, Respect

A Perfect Life Sucks!

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Dear Life,

Before I graduated from college, my mind was on Optimistic Island, where I believed that completing a college degree is going to lead me into a world full of fine jobs starting at least on a $30,000 salary scale…

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Oh boy was I DEAD wrong!

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In case some of you are new to this blog site ,or probably missed some of my previous “post-grad blog series”, after college, I went to career fairs, applied for numerous job positions, and tried to network with friendly strangers (also became single for the first time in six years). In result, I held a temporary job as an assessment rater (graded state-wide tests) and now, I am back working full-time (more like 30 hours per week) in retail…

Now of course, there is appreciation for having a job to pay my bills and survive, but to make a living on my own is very impossible.

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However, I am still job-hunting for something better. I just have to keep trying and sometimes use the job I have now to meet and network because you never know who you will meet that will change some of your life for the better.

Gosh, I do envy my cousin sometimes. She is older, currently trying to finish her college degree, but already has a job working for an insurance company that pays her so well that she is able to live on her own and travel to places every season like Las Vegas!

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As for me, I am back living with my mother. However, I cannot complain, but stress that I am not where I want to be right now. On some days, I do question my abilities and wonder what I am doing wrong to prevent greater opportunities from coming. I know for one thing,   I do not fear.

When it comes to job-hunting, I refuse to feel inferior to the hiring managers even when I am a bit nervous. I pretend that I am casually meeting new potential friends with a spice of professionalism of course.

As for applying for jobs, I am only applying three to  five times a week since I have a retail job to fall back on. Before, I was putting so much pressure and stress on me  applying for at least 20 jobs per day to the point when I get emails from different companies about a job interview (mostly  rejection) and I barely remembered which companies I applied for.

 

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Forrest is right…life is like a box of chocolates…I will never know what I am going to get.

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However, life has never been easy. Life is suppose to have struggles, pain, and suffering.

Imagine if life is forever perfect! That will suck, right?

Let’s take…Odysseus for example.  What if he did not have to fight in the Trojan War, bang all the goddesses, and go through hell to return back home to Ithaca. What the plot just said that he went to war, won the war, and returned home to spend time with his son? That will be a boring story, right?

Here is another example, what if Mufasa from the Lion King movie never died? What if Scar was really a good uncle? Would Simba really be the rightful and happy king of the pride lands without the suffering and discovering who he was with the help of Timon and Pumba?! Without Timon and Pumba, we will never know Hakuna Matata!

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What I am trying to say is that…LIFE IS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE PERFECT!

It is okay to go through some things that we sometimes cannot control like our emotions and mentality! If you have depression, anxiety, or other mental illness that is preventing you from having joy, remember that you are creating a beautiful life story of getting better even it is one step at a time. When you come out of that dark moment of your life, you should celebrate it and share that perfect dark yet beautiful life story to someone who is still in the dark trying to get out.  Of course mental illness is not a perfect happy story, but it is a perfect uplifting inspiration for someone who needs to hear it to know that they are NOT alone.

Having an imperfect life defines who we are. So Forrest, pass that box of chocolates!

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Life Lesson #87: “Life does not give you seat-belts.” -Lego Batman

Thank You,

Lady Elle~

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Childhood, Confessions of A Woman, Life

A Woman Who Still Love Her Dolls

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Dear Confession,

 Every adult has a hobby. Some adults love going to the gym,  for some, maybe creating artwork, or blogging. I love all these hobbies, but my favorite hobby (besides writing)  is collecting Barbies Dolls.

Yes, I am a 23 year old woman who collects Barbie dolls and on occasion, play with them.

Nope, I have no shame.

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Let me give you a back story about how this all happened…

This phenomenon started when I was a  little girl. Barbie was the golden era of my childhood. I had over maybe 100s of barbies. I had celebrity barbies like the Spice Girls, Britney SpearsBrandy and Shakira

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I also have had a pregnant Barbie doll. Yes, that doll existed until the over-sensitive parents complained that it promoted teen pregnancy.

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Oh and did I tell you that on the box, it did say that Midge, the pregnant doll, was married? Most folks don’t read anymore.

 I also had a Barbies pool, Corvette, and a hotel.

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I remember wanting every single Barbie advertised on TV whenever there was a commercial break in between my favorite cartoon shows.

My childhood was completed and blissful until my step father thrown them away in a dumpster behind my back. I was only 11 and that was a dark moment of my childhood. All I had left was my Barbie hotel. My step father few months later asked me if I was ready to get rid of my barbie hotel and I said,”Might as well since my hotel has been out of business for the past few months because no longer have customers.” After giving it away, my relationship with my step-father changed. The trust and the father-daughter relationship was ruined.

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So life went on…,but the phenomena did not stop.

During my high school years, whenever I would go shopping, I would go the toy section to check out the new Barbies on display when I had the chance.

During my freshman year in college, I decided to buy a Barbie doll for the first time in six years. I bought a doll, brought it home, but would hide them whenever my parents, friends, or roommate were present. The only two people that knew about my secret was my grandmother and my then-boyfriend at that time.

So throughout my college years, I would buy a doll for special occasions like my birthday or Christmas. Sometimes I would buy one just for the fun of it because I had a job.

I was not the only one in the family that loves to collect dolls.  My Great Aunt Mary also collects Barbie dolls. She has a house full of Barbies from the 1970s to present.  I  love going to her house seeing all the dolls from every decade. It is also fun to share my collection with her.

After my mother’s divorce, I finally confessed to  my (ex) step-father about collecting dolls and expressed how I felt about what he did when I was little. He admitted that since that dark day, he regretted it because he had a chance to build a relationship with me and ruined it. He also realized how doll collecting was the norm. I understood why he has thrown my Barbies away. He thought I was too old for them and expected me to be like any other pre-teen worrying about sports, house parties, and boyfriends. In result of the conversation, I forgave him and he sent me a peace offering by giving me a Harley Quinn doll.

Currently, I am still collecting dolls. I plan on building my own Barbie Dream house from scratch because I have never been a fan of the Barbie homes that is made of out plastic (except the Barbie hotel).  I would love to form a Barbie collecting club. Who knows? A girl can still dream and make it happen.

Life Lesson #86: It’s your thing, do what you want to do, starting with what makes YOU happy first.

Thank You,

Lady Elle~