Post-Grad Life: From Break up to Shape up

 

Break-up

Dear Ex Life,

I remember reading an article before graduating with my undergraduate degree in December. The article was about post-grad life where every graduate has to re-evaluate their future. For example, career paths, plan-of-living, friendships, and of course relationships.

shenene

A month ago, my first boyfriend and I have broken up. He calls it a “see-you-later,” trying to be optimistic about it ,however, I was a realist about it.  In my mind, it was a break-up and to be honest, I think both of us knew that it was going to happen sooner or later, or maybe it was just me.

We had to part ways.  Two years ago he moved to Kansas to finish school. As for me,  I graduated with my bachelor’s still confused of what I want to do.  We tried long-distance for about a year, but it was not enough for us, especially when I was beginning to change.

In all honesty, I felt it coming. During my college years, I had my heads in the clouds, dreaming thinking life will be easy after graduation like every other undergraduate that has not stepped into the real adult world.

After graduation, my head landed from the sky on planet reality.  During winter break, my ex mentioned about moving with him in Kansas. He first mentioned this a few years ago and I immediately said yes without thinking through. When my ex reminded me again last year during winter break, I said yes out of fear that I cannot make it on my own. After the discussion, we spent Christmas in Kansas with his family. This was my second time visiting the state. I had a wonderful time with his family, but Kansas and I do not match.

I realized that Kansas is not for me. It reminded me of Saginaw, Michigan. It was full of small towns, smelly cows, and really not much to do unlike Atlanta. Also, I realized that moving to Kansas for him will only make him happy, not me.

After coming home from Kansas, our relationship got more distant. Our plans for the year was changing constantly.  After taking a break, we realized that we can’t get through it. I tried to be patient while he was working so hard to take care of his family and trying to pay for school. As for me, I have to work on my future and learn more about myself without him. So that is the story…

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Thank God the break up was mutual, but still it’s something to adjust to. I know he has been contacting me more but I have not really put effort into staying in contact. I know he checks my Snapchat and ask me about the weather because he misses me, but I am not ready for the friendship zone level yet. It takes time for me because its new and  awkward even if we have been knowing each other for almost 7 years. Therefore, I am taking my time mentally process it.

Right now, I am learning more about myself and learning how to have fun on my own. What I learned about about this year so far is that:

  1. I don’t want to live in the Midwest.
  2.  Marriage is not in my plans right now.
  3. I love having short-hair
  4. I want  to travel more
  5. Long-distance relationship is now and forever a no-no.
  6. I want to challenge myself more
  7. I eventually want to date other people in order to be honest about my needs in a partner.
  8. I want to try new things like running in a marathon and learning new cooking recipes.
  9. Spend time with friends and make new friends.

 

Life Lesson #83:  Everyone in your life who comes and goes, good or bad, they make you stronger and wiser than before.

Thank You,

Lady Elle~

 

 

Post Grad Life: The Job Hunt

job-hunt

Dear Post-Grad Life,

It has been two months so far since graduation, and I am still discovering what career is the best fit for me. Lately, I have been job-hunting almost everyday and it is exhausting, but I remain confident. I do plan on going back to school to earn my Masters as soon as I figure out what I want to do ,but lately I have been looking for stable jobs in order to start building my income and start paying my student loans.

During my job-hunting journey, I have experienced and learned so many  lessons about job-hunting and how the job market works. Job hunting is a constant pain. The job market shows how stressful it can be to stand out and how dynamic it can become. Sometimes, new hiring methods can so unnecessary that it is surprisingly helpful for human resource ,but not for the applicants. Therefore, I will give you my experience and tips about job-hunt process.

Applying Online is almost completely a waste of time! job-serach

  • Creating so many new accounts to apply for a job online (and forgetting your password because 9 out of 10, you won’t hear anything back from the HR.
  • Uploading resume ,but have to re-type your work and education experience
  • Completed the application, BUT WAIT, you have an online assessment that is going to take an hour or more of your life to finish.
  • Using job boards like Indeed, LinkedIn, and Careerbuilder most of time is a waste and a quick trip to rejection,especially if you are looking for a entry-level job that require more expected qualifications for the position.
  • Within that same week or later, you receive an automatic rejection email.
  • My Advise: Job rejection does NOT define you. It is NOT your loss, its the company’s lost. Keep applying.

The Interviewing

  • job-interview
  • Wearing a suit to wear for an hour or so wishing you can soon wear a suit going to an actual job.
  •  Group interviews are fun, creative, but can be highly competitive.
  • On on One interviews are not bad depending on the questions and the person who is interviewing you.
  • Pre-recorded one-way interviews are NOT professional at all it does not matter how “beneficial” it is. It is not natural to communicate to a web-cam and been given a very limited amount of time answering each interview question.
  • You can prepare as much as you want for each interview, but you will end up answering  unexpected interview questions.
  • HRs need more fun, creative interview questions. For example, an HR asked me what television character most describes me the most. I understand that are questions that should be job related but, it does not hurt to add at least 2 fun questions every now and then.
  • My Advise: Never feel inferior in front of your interviewer. Don’t fully depend on what YOU can do for the company. Depend on what the company can do for YOU as well. (similar to JFK’s quote lol).

Networking                          jo-b-help

  • Network with EVERYONE you know who can either get you a stable job to work until a better job comes along.
  •  Need more network folks? Volunteer ,or just get out of the house. You never know who you will meet.
  • My Advise: The more people you meet, the merrier.

 

The Asshole Critics

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  • Never stress when a person asks you this basic post grad question, “What are doing now? Are you working?”
  • Never let haters say that your program of study was a waste of time! If you’re passionate about your major, YOU WILL make it in life. For instance, my program of study is Psychology and I have no regrets because I loved studying the mind and nature of human beings. The major helped me understand people better and to think critically in the best way possible. Every major you have chosen must be filled with passion and respect. Treat your degree like it’s your child. You have to love it, defend it, and make it worth  while.
  • My Advise: After college you will always have critics judging your character at every moment of your life. You just have to have THICK skin because life is not sunshine and rainbows. You will run into your highs and also your lows. You just got to be a warrior to defend your integrity.

Appreciate what you have now for there will be something better for you soon.job-hope

  •  Family and close friends are your biggest fans. For example, I appreciate my mom for having me live under her roof until I am able to move out on my own with a stable job.
  • My Advise: Show your appreciation by doing something small and sweet.

During the unemployment phase…..job run.gif

  • Stay busy! Go to a local gym, volunteer,or work on something productive in the mix of job hunting.
  • Sell you textbooks!
  • Give away the college stuff to  Goodwill or hand-me-down them.
  • My Advise: You have a stay busy and accomplish something that can benefit a peace of mine even it means making up your bed everyday.

Well, that is all I have learned so far from my post grad life journey.  I will continue to give you updates about it. Therefore, stay tuned!

Life Lesson #82: Let your successes, mistakes, and failures strengthen your persona for you are meant to be on this earth for a meaningful purpose.

America Needs to Laugh More

Dear American Life,

politicians-laughing2

The country has not been the same since the beginning of the Presidential election. Words can only express how I feel about our current nationwide situation. My heart hurts for the people who are dealing with the stress, anxiety , and despair of the current events that had, has, and will happen.

This week I had to shut off my television, take a break from social media, and refrain from any conversation about politics. I needed a complete body, mind, and spirit refresh to focus mainly on me.

shakire-meditate

On Wednesday night, I went to one of my weekly women’s bible study. Every bible study session, we would discuss about the christian-like flaws as young women, wives, and grandmothers. This week’s topic was about laughter.

Laughter was a topic every woman in that session needed because everything around us is getting crazy.

So America (and World), when was the last time we laughed? Not snickering, giggling, or chuckle. I mean that STRONG high climax laugh, that barely-breathing-crying-joy- stomach tightening -face-reddening  laugh. Laugh so consistent that one minute you stop laughing,but later keep rolling on the ground.

ryan-gosling-laughing-until-he-cries

I say it has been a while since I had a good laugh. In fact, the last gut-tightening laugh I had was when my mother and I was on the highway heading to see my grandmother. Note, my mother was driving and her driving can be very scary due to all of the speeding, and sharp turns, and most of all the hard last minute braking!

In the car, the radio was playing “Emotions” by Mariah Carey. This was my favorite song because I love to sing all the high whistle notes. Therefore, I challenged my mother to see who can sing the highest.

Of course we could not reach those challenging high-notes….well…at my mother couldn’t. No we both were epic failures on that song. But that was not the funny part.

The funny part was when I challenged myself to sing the most challenging high note of the song when Mariah sings “…When you’re lookin into my eyes…You make me feel so high.”

Well by the time I tried to reach that high note my mother all of sudden pumped the brakes hard almost hitting a car in front of us. I was singing from “HIGHHHHHHH to HIG-AHHHHHHHHHHHH, screaming in fear like a woman in a horror movie.

My mother laughed so hard and the laughter did not hit until a few seconds later. I could NOT breathe. I was dying with laughter. It was perfect timing that day because I was so stressed out trying to graduate from college.

I surely believe that laughter does heal the soul. I wished everyday I can have a good laugh. Most of all, I want everyone especially, America to laugh more.

Talk to your friends and family, watch a funny movie or video, go to a local comedy show, or just get plain goofy!

Let us have more joy in our lives. Everyone needs a laugh to heal from the negativity.

Life Lesson #81: “A day without laughter is a day wasted,” by Charlie Chaplin.

Thank You,

Lady Elle~