Why Do I Want To Be A Parent?

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Dear Life,

So this semester I am taking a senior seminar course about Parenting and Families and on the first day of class, my professor asked the class a question that made me wonder about the future.

The professors asked, “Why do you want to become parent?”

That question may be a easy answer to most folks about why they want be parents, but to me, it just got me thinking. I know time has changed the views of having children. For example, I’m sure when it came to colonization we had to have children to populate. The royals have children to bring in an heir to their throne. People back then wanted children to help around the house or soon take over their parent’s businesses. Although this may be true back then, these reasons do not matter as much anymore.We do not need to populate anymore since there are billions of humans living on  this earth.

I feel like people today want to have children because of desire, cultural legacy, investing.

As for me,my reason to have children is a unknown. Why is that? Well, I am an only child that was raised by a single mother. I was an unplanned child and so was my mother so I guess I cannot ask my mother or  my grandmother about why they decided to become parents.

I am a 23 year old woman who is in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend and obviously other people have their reasons for us to get married and have children, especially my boyfriend’s family. My boyfriend is Hispanic and comes from a culture where having children is a cultural legacy. Therefore, I can see some of that influence in him wanting to become a parent.

Why do I want to be a parent? I just don’t know. If I don’t know, does that mean that I should not have children? I dream about what me and boyfriend’s future child will look like sometimes. I daydream about him and I being parents ,but a serious reason? Its a blur ,but if I do have a child one day, I do want him/her to have a sibling because I do not have siblings.

Concluding the topic, I’m still young and about to graduate from college. My focus right now is getting a job and living stable to where I can maybe think about whether I want a legacy or not. If I ever have children,  it would overall be for love.

Life Lesson #79: You may not know what you want now, but you will know one day.

Thank You,

Lady Elle~

Comment & Share: Why do you want to become a parent and what influenced you?

The Transformation Of Becoming A Healthy Woman

 

 

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Dear Health,

For a few years I have been struggling with losing a few pounds after starting birth control, college binging, and love. Do not get me wrong about love. I am not blaming my boyfriend for this or regret falling in love with him because I love my handsome,loving gentleman. Let us face it folks, gaining weight is one of the main side effects when being in love. If some of you “lucky couples” never had this side effect, maybe you guys are very strick on dieting  and exercising or you two are not really in love with each other like you guys thought you were.

On the bright side, weight gain due to love is reversible. All you got to do is just get up and move and eat healthy. What will be better is to do this with your partner. It is more fun than working out with a friend, especially a female friend. From my experiences, it is always competition, bashing, and complaining when working out with other women. Competition is a natural trait in every animal including human beings but females take competition more seriously than men in  my opinion. For males, they compete and end it once and for all ,but females compete constantly and mostly with few of the same women they do not like. For once I want to see females compete with men. Let us make history for once. Stop bringing other females down, bring them up. Instead of being jealous of her, compliment her. If she bashes you, smile and move on. Show her a better example of a being a lady.  A wise man said that you waste more energy being bitter than being sweet. Preserve your energy by smiling.

Back to the weight loss struggle, I want to take my time. This is not a resolution because resolutions are full of nonsense like television. My first step is to learn to eat healthy  for my internal body. Next, Zumba ! I have to get to know my body before I bust a sweat. That means I got a date with body and hopefully it goes well.

Life Lesson #67: In order to change the world, you must learn to change yourself.

Life Lesson #68: Date yourself and love yourself before you love somebody else.

Thank You,

Lady Elle~

Don’t Be A Gold Digger, Be A Goal Digger!

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Dear Feminism,

As a female, I appreciate that I can go to school and have any type of career I want in this country. Women from the past fought hard for us to live our dream and independence, but it seems like most women do not want to take of themselves and have a man do the job for them. For example, most women rather fish for a rich man to tie a knot with and drop a baby on him so he can pay HER. Yes, I said it. If you wonder why most of these celebrity baby-mamas look so good in their high and expensive outfits, their child support paycheck comes from the rich man.

If you look at most of these reality shows like Millionaire MatchmakerHousewives of (Atlanta, Miami, etc)Basketball WivesLove & Hip Hop. These shows show that in order for women to survive in this world, they have to marry a rich man to take care of them. These shows are not just brainwashing women, but young girls too.

Television is not the only thing that is brainwashing us. It is music as well. Every day on the radio, you will listen to some of these female singers’ lyrics like “He buys me everything I want”, “My man is my daddy”, and “He takes care of me.”  Obviously, the father figure is their boyfriend instead of their own real father who took care of them much longer than their boyfriend. Never in my life I am going to call a man dad. That is not in my nature to do that.

NOTE: Ladies, there is nothing wrong with having a relationship with a rich man, but love HIM for HIM, not his money.

There is nothing wrong with having a baby with a rich man, but before you do, make sure that BOTH of you are ready to bring a child into the world.  Every baby needs parent, but not every parent needs a baby.  Lately, you listen to all of these men having so many babies from other women struggling to pay child support. In my opinion, it takes two to have a child. If the man used a condom, he would not be in this mess. If the woman used birth control and see that the man is not ready for child, she would respect that.

There are certain women I respect. I respect women who are ambitious, strong, and independent to take care of  themselves.

Life Lesson #63:  Don’t be a gold digger, be a goal digger. Reach for that goal and I promise you will get there.

Lady Elle~