The Creepy Experience of Online Dating

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Dear Dating Life,

So a week ago I decided to try online dating for the first time since I have the freedom now ( I had a 6 year relationship). Therefore I would like to say….It was creepy as hell!

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So at first, I joined Tinder and I quit right after because it was boring and Tinder had some kind of trick where you have to swipe right to like in order to go to another set of people. For some, you can tell who were potential catfish users and of course there were beautiful people who were probably getting a million likes a day.

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After quitting Tinder, a friend recommended me trying Okcupid. I admit, I had fun taking these stupid matchmaking questions, but of course, writing my own profile was time consuming.

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I chatted with two guys. One guy was very nice, he was French and an engineer. He had a great sense of humor and he was caring. He asked me 1 day later to go out with him ,but it was too soon for me. However, I kept chatting with him.

Another guy I chatted with was a grad student at the same college I graduated from. He was nice, but from the first chat, I had warning signs and I wished I knew sooner to cut him off for good. He acted clingy or perhaps needy. For example, whenever I get a break from Okcupid he would message me with sad emojis wondering if I have lost interest in him. I explained to him that I was busy.

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Later we kept chatting on Okcupid and he asked to meet with me in person. I said I would if he agreed to video chat first because meeting people online vs meeting in person is totally different. You never know if the chemistry is real and you can save so much time.

So I was excited yet nervous to finally talk to him and thankfully he was  the same person from the profile picture. However, everything went south!

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After the fun basic questions, he started asking personal and inappropriate questions like how thick my legs were and how big my breast were. Of course I replied, “None of your damn business!” I was already ready to shut the call down.

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After five minutes of giving him hints that I was no longer interested. I  had to tell him straight up that we was not working.

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I immediately stopped the video call app and deleted my Okcupid account all together. You all can judge me all you want, but I rather meet and feel chemistry in person than online.

After that bad experience from the creepy dude, I feel a little bad about disappearing from the french engineer because I enjoyed chatting with him. There was a connection and a sense of calmness with him unlike the creep. However, my body and spirit said that I need to date nobody but myself. I need to focus only on me because the real world has just started and I need to know more about me.

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Overall, it was an experience I had to try.

Life Lesson #85: When life changes, walk, do not run unless…you are in a very bad moment.

Thank you,

Lady Elle~

Comment & Share: Have you ever had a bad online dating experience?

Life is Always a Test

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Dear Life,
Life can be a beautiful, expensive bowl of crazy gourmet mixed salad. I say this because whenever I order a salad at a restaurant, the dish looks beautiful, but there are certain ingredients I don’t like in it like onions, tomatoes, and carrots. I had two choices. One, I could try the salad anyway, or dig in my salad to take all of the nasty ingredients out of my bowl.

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Life is a test you are given every single day it does not matter, whether you are religious or not. Everything happens for reason whether you like the test or not. It is part of developing who you are.
You cannot escape a test because you can be tested in your home, in public, and even social media. About social media, we do tend to make worse decisions than good ones because we have the more freedom to be foolish than we are in public. Negativity will always be present on social media. It is up to you if you want to spread the fire.

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You will always be tested with people, animals, and things that are non-living.
For example, you may come across a rude person, you might encounter a lost baby bird you found abandoned (this did happen to me a few days ago), or you may accidentally hit your foot against a wall. When these things happen, we have choices of what we are going to do about it.

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Most of the time, our tests would be multiple-choice. We have good choices, bad choices, and sometimes we just don’t know what choice to make. Therefore, I will break it down below:
Bad decisions: Bad consequences, regret,and negativity
Good choice: Happiness, peace, and appreciation.
No choice: Fear, anxiety, worry, nervousness.
We all have chosen bad and good choices due to multiple reasons. However, we must try to make better choices in order to have a peace of mind.

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Bad choices can be good too because we get to learn from our mistakes. When you are stuck with no choice, sometimes we need another person to help us make a good decision.
If lucky, sometimes we are given a second chance to take the test all over again in order to pass.
Another type of life test we are given are sometimes true or false test. This is where you are being tested about what is true and what is not. For example, you hear rumors, gossip, and slander about people, and most of the time it is something that you don’t know. For example, lets say a on social media, a person posted something like….this public figure worships…bacon and is a member of a bacon cult. So, you have a decision to make on whether if the gossip is true or false.

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When I am given a true or false test, I always do my research. You cannot always trust the people you know or whatever news source you read. This type of test is what the majority of us are mostly failing due to ignorance and pride.
As for the media, I think it is good to have biased news stations like CNN and Fox news in order for us to do our OWN research to see if the current events are true or not. Every news station is flawed. In order to understand and know the facts is BEING IN THE SITUATION. You see traveling journalist risking their lives finding the real truth of what it is happening. You have people who are actually in this chaos to know the real truth. My overall point is, you will never understand the situation unless you been there!

Let me break it down…

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Don’t assume something is true if you have never been in that situation to understand what the hell is going on. This goes for race, political views, feminism, religion and the list goes on. Therefore, do your research and showing statistics does NOT help.

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Going back to life is a test…

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Sometimes certain test can last longer than we expected. Oh yes, tests can last for minutes, hours, days, and maybe years.

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In closing, Life is a test and we cannot escape it. We should never be afraid of tests because it helps develop who we are and understand life better. The choices we make comes from the lessons we study and learn from our family and village. We should never stress the bad choices that we make because we will learn from them and if we are lucky, we can take that test again. So give yourself a round of applause because you are a test survivor!

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Life Lesson #84: Every single situation in your life is significant.

Sincerely,

Lady Elle~

America Needs to Laugh More

Dear American Life,

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The country has not been the same since the beginning of the Presidential election. Words can only express how I feel about our current nationwide situation. My heart hurts for the people who are dealing with the stress, anxiety , and despair of the current events that had, has, and will happen.

This week I had to shut off my television, take a break from social media, and refrain from any conversation about politics. I needed a complete body, mind, and spirit refresh to focus mainly on me.

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On Wednesday night, I went to one of my weekly women’s bible study. Every bible study session, we would discuss about the christian-like flaws as young women, wives, and grandmothers. This week’s topic was about laughter.

Laughter was a topic every woman in that session needed because everything around us is getting crazy.

So America (and World), when was the last time we laughed? Not snickering, giggling, or chuckle. I mean that STRONG high climax laugh, that barely-breathing-crying-joy- stomach tightening -face-reddening  laugh. Laugh so consistent that one minute you stop laughing,but later keep rolling on the ground.

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I say it has been a while since I had a good laugh. In fact, the last gut-tightening laugh I had was when my mother and I was on the highway heading to see my grandmother. Note, my mother was driving and her driving can be very scary due to all of the speeding, and sharp turns, and most of all the hard last minute braking!

In the car, the radio was playing “Emotions” by Mariah Carey. This was my favorite song because I love to sing all the high whistle notes. Therefore, I challenged my mother to see who can sing the highest.

Of course we could not reach those challenging high-notes….well…at my mother couldn’t. No we both were epic failures on that song. But that was not the funny part.

The funny part was when I challenged myself to sing the most challenging high note of the song when Mariah sings “…When you’re lookin into my eyes…You make me feel so high.”

Well by the time I tried to reach that high note my mother all of sudden pumped the brakes hard almost hitting a car in front of us. I was singing from “HIGHHHHHHH to HIG-AHHHHHHHHHHHH, screaming in fear like a woman in a horror movie.

My mother laughed so hard and the laughter did not hit until a few seconds later. I could NOT breathe. I was dying with laughter. It was perfect timing that day because I was so stressed out trying to graduate from college.

I surely believe that laughter does heal the soul. I wished everyday I can have a good laugh. Most of all, I want everyone especially, America to laugh more.

Talk to your friends and family, watch a funny movie or video, go to a local comedy show, or just get plain goofy!

Let us have more joy in our lives. Everyone needs a laugh to heal from the negativity.

Life Lesson #81: “A day without laughter is a day wasted,” by Charlie Chaplin.

Thank You,

Lady Elle~