Advice, College Life, Life, Post-Grad Life, Respect

A Perfect Life Sucks!

life 1

Dear Life,

Before I graduated from college, my mind was on Optimistic Island, where I believed that completing a college degree is going to lead me into a world full of fine jobs starting at least on a $30,000 salary scale…

life 2

Oh boy was I DEAD wrong!

life 3

In case some of you are new to this blog site ,or probably missed some of my previous “post-grad blog series”, after college, I went to career fairs, applied for numerous job positions, and tried to network with friendly strangers (also became single for the first time in six years). In result, I held a temporary job as an assessment rater (graded state-wide tests) and now, I am back working full-time (more like 30 hours per week) in retail…

Now of course, there is appreciation for having a job to pay my bills and survive, but to make a living on my own is very impossible.

life 4

However, I am still job-hunting for something better. I just have to keep trying and sometimes use the job I have now to meet and network because you never know who you will meet that will change some of your life for the better.

Gosh, I do envy my cousin sometimes. She is older, currently trying to finish her college degree, but already has a job working for an insurance company that pays her so well that she is able to live on her own and travel to places every season like Las Vegas!

life 6

As for me, I am back living with my mother. However, I cannot complain, but stress that I am not where I want to be right now. On some days, I do question my abilities and wonder what I am doing wrong to prevent greater opportunities from coming. I know for one thing,   I do not fear.

When it comes to job-hunting, I refuse to feel inferior to the hiring managers even when I am a bit nervous. I pretend that I am casually meeting new potential friends with a spice of professionalism of course.

As for applying for jobs, I am only applying three to  five times a week since I have a retail job to fall back on. Before, I was putting so much pressure and stress on me  applying for at least 20 jobs per day to the point when I get emails from different companies about a job interview (mostly  rejection) and I barely remembered which companies I applied for.

 

life 7

Forrest is right…life is like a box of chocolates…I will never know what I am going to get.

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However, life has never been easy. Life is suppose to have struggles, pain, and suffering.

Imagine if life is forever perfect! That will suck, right?

Let’s take…Odysseus for example.  What if he did not have to fight in the Trojan War, bang all the goddesses, and go through hell to return back home to Ithaca. What the plot just said that he went to war, won the war, and returned home to spend time with his son? That will be a boring story, right?

Here is another example, what if Mufasa from the Lion King movie never died? What if Scar was really a good uncle? Would Simba really be the rightful and happy king of the pride lands without the suffering and discovering who he was with the help of Timon and Pumba?! Without Timon and Pumba, we will never know Hakuna Matata!

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What I am trying to say is that…LIFE IS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE PERFECT!

It is okay to go through some things that we sometimes cannot control like our emotions and mentality! If you have depression, anxiety, or other mental illness that is preventing you from having joy, remember that you are creating a beautiful life story of getting better even it is one step at a time. When you come out of that dark moment of your life, you should celebrate it and share that perfect dark yet beautiful life story to someone who is still in the dark trying to get out.  Of course mental illness is not a perfect happy story, but it is a perfect uplifting inspiration for someone who needs to hear it to know that they are NOT alone.

Having an imperfect life defines who we are. So Forrest, pass that box of chocolates!

life 10

 

Life Lesson #87: “Life does not give you seat-belts.” -Lego Batman

Thank You,

Lady Elle~

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Advice, College Life, Life, Love, Post-Grad Life, Relationships

Post-Grad Life: From Break up to Shape up

 

Break-up

Dear Ex Life,

I remember reading an article before graduating with my undergraduate degree in December. The article was about post-grad life where every graduate has to re-evaluate their future. For example, career paths, plan-of-living, friendships, and of course relationships.

shenene

A month ago, my first boyfriend and I have broken up. He calls it a “see-you-later,” trying to be optimistic about it ,however, I was a realist about it.  In my mind, it was a break-up and to be honest, I think both of us knew that it was going to happen sooner or later, or maybe it was just me.

We had to part ways.  Two years ago he moved to Kansas to finish school. As for me,  I graduated with my bachelor’s still confused of what I want to do.  We tried long-distance for about a year, but it was not enough for us, especially when I was beginning to change.

In all honesty, I felt it coming. During my college years, I had my heads in the clouds, dreaming thinking life will be easy after graduation like every other undergraduate that has not stepped into the real adult world.

After graduation, my head landed from the sky on planet reality.  During winter break, my ex mentioned about moving with him in Kansas. He first mentioned this a few years ago and I immediately said yes without thinking through. When my ex reminded me again last year during winter break, I said yes out of fear that I cannot make it on my own. After the discussion, we spent Christmas in Kansas with his family. This was my second time visiting the state. I had a wonderful time with his family, but Kansas and I do not match.

I realized that Kansas is not for me. It reminded me of Saginaw, Michigan. It was full of small towns, smelly cows, and really not much to do unlike Atlanta. Also, I realized that moving to Kansas for him will only make him happy, not me.

After coming home from Kansas, our relationship got more distant. Our plans for the year was changing constantly.  After taking a break, we realized that we can’t get through it. I tried to be patient while he was working so hard to take care of his family and trying to pay for school. As for me, I have to work on my future and learn more about myself without him. So that is the story…

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Thank God the break up was mutual, but still it’s something to adjust to. I know he has been contacting me more but I have not really put effort into staying in contact. I know he checks my Snapchat and ask me about the weather because he misses me, but I am not ready for the friendship zone level yet. It takes time for me because its new and  awkward even if we have been knowing each other for almost 7 years. Therefore, I am taking my time mentally process it.

Right now, I am learning more about myself and learning how to have fun on my own. What I learned about about this year so far is that:

  1. I don’t want to live in the Midwest.
  2.  Marriage is not in my plans right now.
  3. I love having short-hair
  4. I want  to travel more
  5. Long-distance relationship is now and forever a no-no.
  6. I want to challenge myself more
  7. I eventually want to date other people in order to be honest about my needs in a partner.
  8. I want to try new things like running in a marathon and learning new cooking recipes.
  9. Spend time with friends and make new friends.

 

Life Lesson #83:  Everyone in your life who comes and goes, good or bad, they make you stronger and wiser than before.

Thank You,

Lady Elle~