Why Do I Want To Be A Parent?

parent

 

Dear Life,

So this semester I am taking a senior seminar course about Parenting and Families and on the first day of class, my professor asked the class a question that made me wonder about the future.

The professors asked, “Why do you want to become parent?”

That question may be a easy answer to most folks about why they want be parents, but to me, it just got me thinking. I know time has changed the views of having children. For example, I’m sure when it came to colonization we had to have children to populate. The royals have children to bring in an heir to their throne. People back then wanted children to help around the house or soon take over their parent’s businesses. Although this may be true back then, these reasons do not matter as much anymore.We do not need to populate anymore since there are billions of humans living on  this earth.

I feel like people today want to have children because of desire, cultural legacy, investing.

As for me,my reason to have children is a unknown. Why is that? Well, I am an only child that was raised by a single mother. I was an unplanned child and so was my mother so I guess I cannot ask my mother or  my grandmother about why they decided to become parents.

I am a 23 year old woman who is in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend and obviously other people have their reasons for us to get married and have children, especially my boyfriend’s family. My boyfriend is Hispanic and comes from a culture where having children is a cultural legacy. Therefore, I can see some of that influence in him wanting to become a parent.

Why do I want to be a parent? I just don’t know. If I don’t know, does that mean that I should not have children? I dream about what me and boyfriend’s future child will look like sometimes. I daydream about him and I being parents ,but a serious reason? Its a blur ,but if I do have a child one day, I do want him/her to have a sibling because I do not have siblings.

Concluding the topic, I’m still young and about to graduate from college. My focus right now is getting a job and living stable to where I can maybe think about whether I want a legacy or not. If I ever have children,  it would overall be for love.

Life Lesson #79: You may not know what you want now, but you will know one day.

Thank You,

Lady Elle~

Comment & Share: Why do you want to become a parent and what influenced you?

Happy Beloved Father’s Day

 

my father (3)

Dear Father’s Day,

This is the 19th year I celebrate Father’s Day without my father who passed away when I was 3 years old due to cancer. By the time being that long, I cannot even remember the last moments of being with my father. The only thing that keeps the memories and the moments of my father are the pictures that are saved in my photo album.

I did give Father’s Day a try when I had a step-father, but it did not feel complete. It felt awkward and complicated for so many reasons. For the nine years he was married to my mother,  I did not feel any closeness or, bond other than him being an authority figure.  I never called him “father.” I only called him by his first name. Anyway, I tried to celebrate with him, but it felt like a job instead of appreciation because he was not fully engaged like a father should be. He did not spend enough time or engagement of getting to know me and when it comes to my future, he did not unconditionally support my career ambitions. He only supported the plans he wanted for me. Therefore, everything was about him, which was the main reason why the divorce happened.

When it comes to jealousy, I am not the jealous type. I don’t get jealous of other females because I uplift women, not bring them down. I wish all women are like that.  I am in a relationship, but I do not get jealous if my boyfriend checks out other women. I check out other men because I do. There are beautiful people on this earth and why should I miss the opportunity to observe them? Haha.

The only things that get me jealous are people’s fathers who have been with them ever since the beginning. It really makes me hater when the person and the father have a strong relationship.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not madly jealous, only just playful jealous, but sometimes it can hit me a bit emotionally.

Right now, I am currently reconnecting with my grandfather who is the father of my father and my grandmother (when I get the chance). Every time I call them, I always want to know more about them and my father because they are all I have on my father’s side. There are other family members, but they don’t seem to stay in contact with each other unlike my mom’s side of the family.  Therefore, I have to stay in contact with them if anything.

For Father’s Day this year, I am going to celebrate peacefully and call my grandfather to wish him a Happy Father’s Day because even with my dad being deceased. My grandfather is still his dad and I will forever be my father’s daughter.

Life Lesson #75: “Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.” By Richard Puz.

Thank You,

Lady Elle

 

I Don’t Babysitt For Free

image

Dear young-adult life,

Last month, my little step-brother came to visit us for a month, a month that felt like forever. Don’t get me wrong, he is a sweet little boy but what I did not appreciate was baby-sitting him for free.

For the past month, I have been stuck watching him while my parents were at work. Few weeks ago, I just finished taking a summer course that was required for my degree. After that, I was really determined to spend the rest of the summer relaxing with fun and a peace of mind ,but no, I spent the rest of the summer babysitting.

Funny, because my step-father said that I didn’t have to babysitt him and that my little step brother can watch himself. He said that then, but two days ago my mother and I planned to go to my mother’s job to fix her classroom and he said that we cannot leave him home alone. ….

By the way, the boy is ten but smart enough to take care of himself.

I don’t mind my step brother to visit and stay, but what I do mind is that I have my summer vacation! Just because I am a young-adult and a female does not mean I automatically have to babysitt somebody else’s children. This is what kills me ever since I was a teen.

Everytime, my parents throw a house party, there will always be parents bringing in their chikdren and have them sit near me like I’m suppose to watch them. I have my table and space turned into sesame street multiple times.

I am 22 and in college and life is not easy financial wise. So next time before these parents try to use me for free babysitting service, I will tell them straight up:

image

I shall not worry any longer because as of next week, I am moving back to my dormitory and next summer I shall have a place of my own because people cannot respect my time and space.

Life Lesson #70: Never work for free unless its worth changing the world.

Thank you,
Lady Elle ♡