The Creepy Experience of Online Dating

Scared-PC-user

Dear Dating Life,

So a week ago I decided to try online dating for the first time since I have the freedom now ( I had a 6 year relationship). Therefore I would like to say….It was creepy as hell!

creepy computer

So at first, I joined Tinder and I quit right after because it was boring and Tinder had some kind of trick where you have to swipe right to like in order to go to another set of people. For some, you can tell who were potential catfish users and of course there were beautiful people who were probably getting a million likes a day.

eyes roll

After quitting Tinder, a friend recommended me trying Okcupid. I admit, I had fun taking these stupid matchmaking questions, but of course, writing my own profile was time consuming.

tmhnks.gif

I chatted with two guys. One guy was very nice, he was French and an engineer. He had a great sense of humor and he was caring. He asked me 1 day later to go out with him ,but it was too soon for me. However, I kept chatting with him.

Another guy I chatted with was a grad student at the same college I graduated from. He was nice, but from the first chat, I had warning signs and I wished I knew sooner to cut him off for good. He acted clingy or perhaps needy. For example, whenever I get a break from Okcupid he would message me with sad emojis wondering if I have lost interest in him. I explained to him that I was busy.

akward

 

Later we kept chatting on Okcupid and he asked to meet with me in person. I said I would if he agreed to video chat first because meeting people online vs meeting in person is totally different. You never know if the chemistry is real and you can save so much time.

So I was excited yet nervous to finally talk to him and thankfully he was  the same person from the profile picture. However, everything went south!

fall

 

After the fun basic questions, he started asking personal and inappropriate questions like how thick my legs were and how big my breast were. Of course I replied, “None of your damn business!” I was already ready to shut the call down.

delete.gif

After five minutes of giving him hints that I was no longer interested. I  had to tell him straight up that we was not working.

boy bye.gif

I immediately stopped the video call app and deleted my Okcupid account all together. You all can judge me all you want, but I rather meet and feel chemistry in person than online.

After that bad experience from the creepy dude, I feel a little bad about disappearing from the french engineer because I enjoyed chatting with him. There was a connection and a sense of calmness with him unlike the creep. However, my body and spirit said that I need to date nobody but myself. I need to focus only on me because the real world has just started and I need to know more about me.

yay.gif

Overall, it was an experience I had to try.

Life Lesson #85: When life changes, walk, do not run unless…you are in a very bad moment.

Thank you,

Lady Elle~

Comment & Share: Have you ever had a bad online dating experience?

Post-Grad Life: From Break up to Shape up

 

Break-up

Dear Ex Life,

I remember reading an article before graduating with my undergraduate degree in December. The article was about post-grad life where every graduate has to re-evaluate their future. For example, career paths, plan-of-living, friendships, and of course relationships.

shenene

A month ago, my first boyfriend and I have broken up. He calls it a “see-you-later,” trying to be optimistic about it ,however, I was a realist about it.  In my mind, it was a break-up and to be honest, I think both of us knew that it was going to happen sooner or later, or maybe it was just me.

We had to part ways.  Two years ago he moved to Kansas to finish school. As for me,  I graduated with my bachelor’s still confused of what I want to do.  We tried long-distance for about a year, but it was not enough for us, especially when I was beginning to change.

In all honesty, I felt it coming. During my college years, I had my heads in the clouds, dreaming thinking life will be easy after graduation like every other undergraduate that has not stepped into the real adult world.

After graduation, my head landed from the sky on planet reality.  During winter break, my ex mentioned about moving with him in Kansas. He first mentioned this a few years ago and I immediately said yes without thinking through. When my ex reminded me again last year during winter break, I said yes out of fear that I cannot make it on my own. After the discussion, we spent Christmas in Kansas with his family. This was my second time visiting the state. I had a wonderful time with his family, but Kansas and I do not match.

I realized that Kansas is not for me. It reminded me of Saginaw, Michigan. It was full of small towns, smelly cows, and really not much to do unlike Atlanta. Also, I realized that moving to Kansas for him will only make him happy, not me.

After coming home from Kansas, our relationship got more distant. Our plans for the year was changing constantly.  After taking a break, we realized that we can’t get through it. I tried to be patient while he was working so hard to take care of his family and trying to pay for school. As for me, I have to work on my future and learn more about myself without him. So that is the story…

reading

Thank God the break up was mutual, but still it’s something to adjust to. I know he has been contacting me more but I have not really put effort into staying in contact. I know he checks my Snapchat and ask me about the weather because he misses me, but I am not ready for the friendship zone level yet. It takes time for me because its new and  awkward even if we have been knowing each other for almost 7 years. Therefore, I am taking my time mentally process it.

Right now, I am learning more about myself and learning how to have fun on my own. What I learned about about this year so far is that:

  1. I don’t want to live in the Midwest.
  2.  Marriage is not in my plans right now.
  3. I love having short-hair
  4. I want  to travel more
  5. Long-distance relationship is now and forever a no-no.
  6. I want to challenge myself more
  7. I eventually want to date other people in order to be honest about my needs in a partner.
  8. I want to try new things like running in a marathon and learning new cooking recipes.
  9. Spend time with friends and make new friends.

 

Life Lesson #83:  Everyone in your life who comes and goes, good or bad, they make you stronger and wiser than before.

Thank You,

Lady Elle~

 

 

Happy Beloved Father’s Day

 

my father (3)

Dear Father’s Day,

This is the 19th year I celebrate Father’s Day without my father who passed away when I was 3 years old due to cancer. By the time being that long, I cannot even remember the last moments of being with my father. The only thing that keeps the memories and the moments of my father are the pictures that are saved in my photo album.

I did give Father’s Day a try when I had a step-father, but it did not feel complete. It felt awkward and complicated for so many reasons. For the nine years he was married to my mother,  I did not feel any closeness or, bond other than him being an authority figure.  I never called him “father.” I only called him by his first name. Anyway, I tried to celebrate with him, but it felt like a job instead of appreciation because he was not fully engaged like a father should be. He did not spend enough time or engagement of getting to know me and when it comes to my future, he did not unconditionally support my career ambitions. He only supported the plans he wanted for me. Therefore, everything was about him, which was the main reason why the divorce happened.

When it comes to jealousy, I am not the jealous type. I don’t get jealous of other females because I uplift women, not bring them down. I wish all women are like that.  I am in a relationship, but I do not get jealous if my boyfriend checks out other women. I check out other men because I do. There are beautiful people on this earth and why should I miss the opportunity to observe them? Haha.

The only things that get me jealous are people’s fathers who have been with them ever since the beginning. It really makes me hater when the person and the father have a strong relationship.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not madly jealous, only just playful jealous, but sometimes it can hit me a bit emotionally.

Right now, I am currently reconnecting with my grandfather who is the father of my father and my grandmother (when I get the chance). Every time I call them, I always want to know more about them and my father because they are all I have on my father’s side. There are other family members, but they don’t seem to stay in contact with each other unlike my mom’s side of the family.  Therefore, I have to stay in contact with them if anything.

For Father’s Day this year, I am going to celebrate peacefully and call my grandfather to wish him a Happy Father’s Day because even with my dad being deceased. My grandfather is still his dad and I will forever be my father’s daughter.

Life Lesson #75: “Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.” By Richard Puz.

Thank You,

Lady Elle