Advice, Anxiety/Depression, Health, Life, Stress

Hello My Dear Aunt Anxiety, its you again..

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Dear Mental Health,

Since graduating from college two years ago and entering this whole new universe of the real world, I have developed more than normal anxiety that seems to affect my everyday life to the point of losing my confidence and self-esteem that I  have built during college.

Before college the only anxiety I had was only minor like test anxiety because I was not  the  best exam taker due to my previous learning disability when it comes to mental processing, but I was confident with my studying and worked hard to earn As and Bs each semester. With making good grades and making friends in college help build my confidence and self esteem. College felt like  pleasure island where you believed you can be anything in the world once you earn that college degree…

Now, in the real world, my dear Aunt Anxiety decided to challenge me into a whole new level. The lump feeling in my throat turned into obsessive thoughts of my life decisions and the fear of failure.  The anxiety became so overwhelming, I felt as though my secret weapons against it were no longer working.

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If you ask if I also have depression, I was when I was on hormonal medication. It felt like every night I take it, I feel so much sadder to the point there was a morning where I could not stop crying. I had no reason behind the tears. The tears were just flowing like a continuous broken pipe. Therefore, I had to end it all together so I can be myself mentally.

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After ending my hormonal medicine, within two weeks, I was myself again. I no longer feel depressed, but my dear Aunt Anxiety still comes and visits. In order to stop Aunt Anxiety from interfering in my life more than normal, I had to seek professional help.

Now, I am seeing a spiritual counselor. She is nice. I admit, the first meeting was a little intimidating because, like every human being, I did not want to be perceived as crazy , because I think I talked too much because I feel like my mind and body was just anxious for help, guidance, and peace.

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Outside of being intimidated, I was excited because since graduating with a psychology degree, I always wanted to experience what it was like to have a spiritual counselor.  To me, it feels so relieved to speak with a professional stranger because speaking with family and friends about your issues is only temporary relief because they love you so much that all they see is perfection, they will never fix that inner deep wound because they cannot see it.  That is why it is important to speak with someone outside of your social circle.

When it comes to mental health, I cannot stress more about the advantage of seeking a counselor.  Counseling can be affordable I have found counseling cheap as $65 per session. Counseling sessions are very flexible. Counseling is mostly once or twice a week for fifty minutes.. Some counselors provide sessions over the phone. Also, if you had a counselor that you did not agree with, there are a million other therapists to explore. Therefore, THERE IS NO EXCUSE!

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Life Lesson #93: A healthy mind prepares for the physically challenges ahead.

Life Lesson #94: Never neglect yourself. Upgrade yourself.

Thank you,

Lady Elle~

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Advice, College Life, Life, Post-Grad Life, Respect

A Perfect Life Sucks!

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Dear Life,

Before I graduated from college, my mind was on Optimistic Island, where I believed that completing a college degree is going to lead me into a world full of fine jobs starting at least on a $30,000 salary scale…

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Oh boy was I DEAD wrong!

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In case some of you are new to this blog site ,or probably missed some of my previous “post-grad blog series”, after college, I went to career fairs, applied for numerous job positions, and tried to network with friendly strangers (also became single for the first time in six years). In result, I held a temporary job as an assessment rater (graded state-wide tests) and now, I am back working full-time (more like 30 hours per week) in retail…

Now of course, there is appreciation for having a job to pay my bills and survive, but to make a living on my own is very impossible.

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However, I am still job-hunting for something better. I just have to keep trying and sometimes use the job I have now to meet and network because you never know who you will meet that will change some of your life for the better.

Gosh, I do envy my cousin sometimes. She is older, currently trying to finish her college degree, but already has a job working for an insurance company that pays her so well that she is able to live on her own and travel to places every season like Las Vegas!

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As for me, I am back living with my mother. However, I cannot complain, but stress that I am not where I want to be right now. On some days, I do question my abilities and wonder what I am doing wrong to prevent greater opportunities from coming. I know for one thing,   I do not fear.

When it comes to job-hunting, I refuse to feel inferior to the hiring managers even when I am a bit nervous. I pretend that I am casually meeting new potential friends with a spice of professionalism of course.

As for applying for jobs, I am only applying three to  five times a week since I have a retail job to fall back on. Before, I was putting so much pressure and stress on me  applying for at least 20 jobs per day to the point when I get emails from different companies about a job interview (mostly  rejection) and I barely remembered which companies I applied for.

 

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Forrest is right…life is like a box of chocolates…I will never know what I am going to get.

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However, life has never been easy. Life is suppose to have struggles, pain, and suffering.

Imagine if life is forever perfect! That will suck, right?

Let’s take…Odysseus for example.  What if he did not have to fight in the Trojan War, bang all the goddesses, and go through hell to return back home to Ithaca. What the plot just said that he went to war, won the war, and returned home to spend time with his son? That will be a boring story, right?

Here is another example, what if Mufasa from the Lion King movie never died? What if Scar was really a good uncle? Would Simba really be the rightful and happy king of the pride lands without the suffering and discovering who he was with the help of Timon and Pumba?! Without Timon and Pumba, we will never know Hakuna Matata!

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What I am trying to say is that…LIFE IS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE PERFECT!

It is okay to go through some things that we sometimes cannot control like our emotions and mentality! If you have depression, anxiety, or other mental illness that is preventing you from having joy, remember that you are creating a beautiful life story of getting better even it is one step at a time. When you come out of that dark moment of your life, you should celebrate it and share that perfect dark yet beautiful life story to someone who is still in the dark trying to get out.  Of course mental illness is not a perfect happy story, but it is a perfect uplifting inspiration for someone who needs to hear it to know that they are NOT alone.

Having an imperfect life defines who we are. So Forrest, pass that box of chocolates!

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Life Lesson #87: “Life does not give you seat-belts.” -Lego Batman

Thank You,

Lady Elle~