A Woman Who Still Love Her Dolls

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Dear Confession,

 Every adult has a hobby. Some adults love going to the gym,  for some, maybe creating artwork, or blogging. I love all these hobbies, but my favorite hobby (besides writing)  is collecting Barbies Dolls.

Yes, I am a 23 year old woman who collects Barbie dolls and on occasion, play with them.

Nope, I have no shame.

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Let me give you a back story about how this all happened…

This phenomenon started when I was a  little girl. Barbie was the golden era of my childhood. I had over maybe 100s of barbies. I had celebrity barbies like the Spice Girls, Britney SpearsBrandy and Shakira

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I also have had a pregnant Barbie doll. Yes, that doll existed until the over-sensitive parents complained that it promoted teen pregnancy.

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Oh and did I tell you that on the box, it did say that Midge, the pregnant doll, was married? Most folks don’t read anymore.

 I also had a Barbies pool, Corvette, and a hotel.

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I remember wanting every single Barbie advertised on TV whenever there was a commercial break in between my favorite cartoon shows.

My childhood was completed and blissful until my step father thrown them away in a dumpster behind my back. I was only 11 and that was a dark moment of my childhood. All I had left was my Barbie hotel. My step father few months later asked me if I was ready to get rid of my barbie hotel and I said,”Might as well since my hotel has been out of business for the past few months because no longer have customers.” After giving it away, my relationship with my step-father changed. The trust and the father-daughter relationship was ruined.

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So life went on…,but the phenomena did not stop.

During my high school years, whenever I would go shopping, I would go the toy section to check out the new Barbies on display when I had the chance.

During my freshman year in college, I decided to buy a Barbie doll for the first time in six years. I bought a doll, brought it home, but would hide them whenever my parents, friends, or roommate were present. The only two people that knew about my secret was my grandmother and my then-boyfriend at that time.

So throughout my college years, I would buy a doll for special occasions like my birthday or Christmas. Sometimes I would buy one just for the fun of it because I had a job.

I was not the only one in the family that loves to collect dolls.  My Great Aunt Mary also collects Barbie dolls. She has a house full of Barbies from the 1970s to present.  I  love going to her house seeing all the dolls from every decade. It is also fun to share my collection with her.

After my mother’s divorce, I finally confessed to  my (ex) step-father about collecting dolls and expressed how I felt about what he did when I was little. He admitted that since that dark day, he regretted it because he had a chance to build a relationship with me and ruined it. He also realized how doll collecting was the norm. I understood why he has thrown my Barbies away. He thought I was too old for them and expected me to be like any other pre-teen worrying about sports, house parties, and boyfriends. In result of the conversation, I forgave him and he sent me a peace offering by giving me a Harley Quinn doll.

Currently, I am still collecting dolls. I plan on building my own Barbie Dream house from scratch because I have never been a fan of the Barbie homes that is made of out plastic (except the Barbie hotel).  I would love to form a Barbie collecting club. Who knows? A girl can still dream and make it happen.

Life Lesson #86: It’s your thing, do what you want to do, starting with what makes YOU happy first.

Thank You,

Lady Elle~

 

The Creepy Experience of Online Dating

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Dear Dating Life,

So a week ago I decided to try online dating for the first time since I have the freedom now ( I had a 6 year relationship). Therefore I would like to say….It was creepy as hell!

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So at first, I joined Tinder and I quit right after because it was boring and Tinder had some kind of trick where you have to swipe right to like in order to go to another set of people. For some, you can tell who were potential catfish users and of course there were beautiful people who were probably getting a million likes a day.

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After quitting Tinder, a friend recommended me trying Okcupid. I admit, I had fun taking these stupid matchmaking questions, but of course, writing my own profile was time consuming.

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I chatted with two guys. One guy was very nice, he was French and an engineer. He had a great sense of humor and he was caring. He asked me 1 day later to go out with him ,but it was too soon for me. However, I kept chatting with him.

Another guy I chatted with was a grad student at the same college I graduated from. He was nice, but from the first chat, I had warning signs and I wished I knew sooner to cut him off for good. He acted clingy or perhaps needy. For example, whenever I get a break from Okcupid he would message me with sad emojis wondering if I have lost interest in him. I explained to him that I was busy.

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Later we kept chatting on Okcupid and he asked to meet with me in person. I said I would if he agreed to video chat first because meeting people online vs meeting in person is totally different. You never know if the chemistry is real and you can save so much time.

So I was excited yet nervous to finally talk to him and thankfully he was  the same person from the profile picture. However, everything went south!

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After the fun basic questions, he started asking personal and inappropriate questions like how thick my legs were and how big my breast were. Of course I replied, “None of your damn business!” I was already ready to shut the call down.

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After five minutes of giving him hints that I was no longer interested. I  had to tell him straight up that we was not working.

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I immediately stopped the video call app and deleted my Okcupid account all together. You all can judge me all you want, but I rather meet and feel chemistry in person than online.

After that bad experience from the creepy dude, I feel a little bad about disappearing from the french engineer because I enjoyed chatting with him. There was a connection and a sense of calmness with him unlike the creep. However, my body and spirit said that I need to date nobody but myself. I need to focus only on me because the real world has just started and I need to know more about me.

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Overall, it was an experience I had to try.

Life Lesson #85: When life changes, walk, do not run unless…you are in a very bad moment.

Thank you,

Lady Elle~

Comment & Share: Have you ever had a bad online dating experience?

Life is Always a Test

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Dear Life,
Life can be a beautiful, expensive bowl of crazy gourmet mixed salad. I say this because whenever I order a salad at a restaurant, the dish looks beautiful, but there are certain ingredients I don’t like in it like onions, tomatoes, and carrots. I had two choices. One, I could try the salad anyway, or dig in my salad to take all of the nasty ingredients out of my bowl.

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Life is a test you are given every single day it does not matter, whether you are religious or not. Everything happens for reason whether you like the test or not. It is part of developing who you are.
You cannot escape a test because you can be tested in your home, in public, and even social media. About social media, we do tend to make worse decisions than good ones because we have the more freedom to be foolish than we are in public. Negativity will always be present on social media. It is up to you if you want to spread the fire.

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You will always be tested with people, animals, and things that are non-living.
For example, you may come across a rude person, you might encounter a lost baby bird you found abandoned (this did happen to me a few days ago), or you may accidentally hit your foot against a wall. When these things happen, we have choices of what we are going to do about it.

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Most of the time, our tests would be multiple-choice. We have good choices, bad choices, and sometimes we just don’t know what choice to make. Therefore, I will break it down below:
Bad decisions: Bad consequences, regret,and negativity
Good choice: Happiness, peace, and appreciation.
No choice: Fear, anxiety, worry, nervousness.
We all have chosen bad and good choices due to multiple reasons. However, we must try to make better choices in order to have a peace of mind.

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Bad choices can be good too because we get to learn from our mistakes. When you are stuck with no choice, sometimes we need another person to help us make a good decision.
If lucky, sometimes we are given a second chance to take the test all over again in order to pass.
Another type of life test we are given are sometimes true or false test. This is where you are being tested about what is true and what is not. For example, you hear rumors, gossip, and slander about people, and most of the time it is something that you don’t know. For example, lets say a on social media, a person posted something like….this public figure worships…bacon and is a member of a bacon cult. So, you have a decision to make on whether if the gossip is true or false.

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When I am given a true or false test, I always do my research. You cannot always trust the people you know or whatever news source you read. This type of test is what the majority of us are mostly failing due to ignorance and pride.
As for the media, I think it is good to have biased news stations like CNN and Fox news in order for us to do our OWN research to see if the current events are true or not. Every news station is flawed. In order to understand and know the facts is BEING IN THE SITUATION. You see traveling journalist risking their lives finding the real truth of what it is happening. You have people who are actually in this chaos to know the real truth. My overall point is, you will never understand the situation unless you been there!

Let me break it down…

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Don’t assume something is true if you have never been in that situation to understand what the hell is going on. This goes for race, political views, feminism, religion and the list goes on. Therefore, do your research and showing statistics does NOT help.

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Going back to life is a test…

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Sometimes certain test can last longer than we expected. Oh yes, tests can last for minutes, hours, days, and maybe years.

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In closing, Life is a test and we cannot escape it. We should never be afraid of tests because it helps develop who we are and understand life better. The choices we make comes from the lessons we study and learn from our family and village. We should never stress the bad choices that we make because we will learn from them and if we are lucky, we can take that test again. So give yourself a round of applause because you are a test survivor!

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Life Lesson #84: Every single situation in your life is significant.

Sincerely,

Lady Elle~